Still not change!

it has been 4 or 5 years already since i first graduate from my high school, but i'm still the same. I still don't like studying, i still don't know exactly what i want my life to be! Or it becomes my habit already? i don't really understand this!!

i really want to change, but i never give a try to that! I always said that i will try to change, but actually, i never even try for one time. Whenever i am lazy or have no mood , I just give in and never care to give a try on winning on those things.

So far, i have been in university life for 5 years already, but i honestly don't know what i am capable of. Sometimes, i still do or think like a kid. Sometimes, out of a sudden, i felt like i am a good man, i feel like i can do anything. This feeling happen only when i can have a chance to start something new, but after a while, i will become who i am again!!!!

I am going to have test one soon today, and it's the way the make me think of how to get good score. Then, i will start to think of these things. After a while, when i am free, i will stop thinking of these problems, and will start to do something out of control again(and i hate when i am out of control).

I feel a bit release now since i can say out what my feeling is today!!!

Anyway, i'm about to have test one soon, i think i'd better stop thinking of how to make myself good or changing myself anymore, gotta start thinking of how to get good score on this test!!!

hmm....sigh!!!!!