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Today i apply The Law of Success by Napoleon Hill.

I will not waste time on something else beside applying all the policy on this book.
When i am tired, i will take a nap. When i am hungry i will take meal. I won't waste my single minute on something else beside this law now.
It is said that if i apply 210days of this law with my life, i will develop sufficient personal power to ensure the attainment of my Definite Chief Aim.

To do list.
1, have note book. as my case, have blog.
2. teach to others as in my case teach to myself after i finish reading it.

My thought

My philosophy.

Now come to your philosophy. What do I think about my life? What can I do to improve my life? I do not mean to say it is non-serious tone. I am saying seriously. You have locked into most of the mysterious mind on this earth that some people can never understand what it is and you need to understand that what you are knowing is very powerful comparing to the people 100 years ago. But the questions is what is good about knowing everything, but can’t do anything about it? I am wrong. From the knowledge that I have, the moive that watched, the book that I read, I have expand my understanding. This will make me make a decision more wiser. I think about a lot of option based on my reference before I start decide to judge something. So this maybe the reason I have come here so far. Imagine that i have never touched the 7 habits book, i wouldn't apply win-win when i go to interview to Malaysia, i past the interview because i have applied the win-win strategy i learn from the book. After watching the God Father movie, i understand that we do not have to try hard for our life. We are all set in a pattern not understand by us. That is why what we need to have is only faith, believing that we are going to have a great life here. Understand that we are here with up and down. Without being down, we will never know how it is feel to be up. So all the feeling just support me to the better future. I may feel down once a while but i believe that is a good thing. I have understand God pattern now, whenever i feel down, i know that i will find something important in my life soon such as when i was feeling so down about my final year, i graduate. I am not trying to encourage myself. 

Books

I read books. Many books say everything happen for a reason, and it serve us. I didn't fully undestand what it is. but now i do. I didn't understand it first , but now i do. It is like the secret concept. To be honest, i do not fully form the idea on agree about it. Maybe because something i wish for is not really happening yet. However, i somehow find it true why because i have gone through most of it. and there are books, movie and other great philosophy talking about. Maybe it is true but it is not working on me yet. Maybe it will work at the end of my journey and i feel regret that i should have enjoyed with my life while waiting for the big gift to come. 

Pass and present

Go back to your life when you was a kid. How poor your family were. but it was a happy family. your family grow up like this because of your dad and your mum and your sibling and your friends. They all share a great deal in making this happen. You have a lot of mentors as well. 

I am living in a society, not a great society but i can say that it is a good one.I have tried to live my way, think on my way, study my way my whole life. and i never regret about it at all. I now realize that i have a strong defense mechanism. Even in my dream. I know that i never give up on anything. I just keep going until i reach it.  

Grateful

I watch this video clip about the parrot which are so excited about the water that his owner poor into the glass. This is something we all should be doing everything. You see the water in front of me? Why everyday, i drink it like i have to force myself drinking it all the time? or it is just a habit that i have to drink the water to balance my life? Why don't i feel happy with every drop of water? According to the law of familairity. We seem to take things for granted when we stay with them long enough. The question is how to fight that? It is the law; it is strong; it is like that. How to fight it? It is hard, we can't fight it, but we can try and see whether it is working or not. It has to do with imagination. You have to imagine that you go back to where you were. Going back to when you were in grade 4th. In the morning, you walk to your class feeling exciting about playing the game that you had imagine in your dream. Then in the morning, you go in the game house, and you played it all. You wish you are dead, now you are very hungry, sitting in the table looking at other kids enjoying their breakfast while you only looking at their mouse. You are very thirsty. You need to do something about it, but you fail to due to your level of understanding about life and everything around you. So after that imagination, what happen now? You get up and you realized that you have everything now. You have everything that a normal person need to have. you are living above average. You enjoy going to movie once a week, you enjoying eating out with wife, your friend and your family. You enjoy working near your house, you enjoy travelling with all of them. You haven't had kids, you haven't had to bring them to school, hoping that they will graduate well as you, hoping that they will find their spouse, save money for them and so on. These are the things that i will have to go through too, but not now. I have to go step by step. Enjoy every moment. 

Habit of reflection

There are many things in my head that is not getting the result but i just have faith that it will produce the good result one day. There is one thing i need to do to become my habit and what that is? That is reflection, i have to ask myself what does that mean to me? What does that thing happen mean to me? Do i need to learn anything from that? Or it is non of my business and i have to let it go? 

Life

Life is a mystery. Sometimes, you think you know something, you are sure that thing will go to your way, but it didn't. I use to wonder how it is like to be a rich man, a very rich man. When i was a kid, i always thought that i have a million dollar, and i will put all the money in the bank and wait to get the interest only. That way i don't have to put my hand in the money, i only have to take the interest and pay for my daily bill. Even where i am now, is to somebody dream. Imagine you cousin living in the country side. What do you thing they wish for? They are so poor, they have in total maybe 4000$ for everything. And you think what do they see? They see if they could be me, having a great family, travelling alot, going out abroad. One peron's property maybe it is other people dream. 

Dream

Dearm!!! Tell me what is the dream that you were having and now you are doing? Not drinkin beer and living in a peaceful house, it comes true now. Going to Hong Kong, yeah, i did go after i get married. Going to France, while i end up in Malaysia. Being at the beach, yeah i did a lot of time. Dream come true many times. Is it luck that happen to me? what is going on? why i have met a lot of good stuff around me? Why i have got a lot of good friends, family. Sometimes life is ironic. You were feeling sad, then suddenly something happy happen. You are happy suddenly something bad happen. It is all about uncertainty, you can't be certain about anything in your life. It is just impossible. You may think that you are having a great life right now, but things may change suddenly that you don't know. Before Pol Pot regime, who tell us that there will be a sudden change like that? for 3 years different people see different thing according to the area they living. So do not be too happy, and do not feel so sad about anything. What you need to do is to increase your awareness, increase your knowledge and so on. 

Revenge

I see this revenge on facebook about one country kill another country to take revenge. When is this going to stop? How are we going to stop this? Awareness is the key. We have to open other people awareness so that thing will be peace in the world. I cannot do anything. i can't change people idea. It is that people who have to change their ideas by themselves. 

Thought

Different thought, different feeling. You are your thought. if you want to be happy, just think of something hopeful like your plan to go to Thailand with your family. Your plan to save money to reach 10000 dollar a year, your plan to stop drinking beer and make your feel everything, the hope that you will increase more of your awareness by reading more book, your hope to see your country going better and seeing many people are fighting to get back their freedom. These all hope are the positive thought that could lift your life up and happy to see the better future. Another kind of positive thought is reviewing your pass achievements. Remember the time you are born fighting with other millions of sperm to get where you are today, know how to walk, know how to speak, get into school, college, high school, passing grade 12, getting scholarship to IFl, kosomak and Malaysia, getting a descent job, having a great wife, having a great family, travelling a lot with them. Another positive thought is gratitude. Thanks to your family who brought you up, thanks to your secret angel who has following since you are born, thanks to you sibling who give you love, thanks to your teacher who give you knowledge, thanks to your neighbour who gave you fun experice, thanks to your friend in school who bring your joy, thanks to lok yeay mao who help us along the way, thanks to buddha who has kept his script, thanks to Jesus who brought me up again, thanks to writers such as Staple, Anothy, Jim Ronh, and other great writer who gave me great ideas. Being grateful is another positive thought. What else is a posivite thought? Postive faithe. Believe that your life will be better, that you are here cuase of getting a ticket to play here and just to test you how you react to your life while god and other angels are watching you. Love is a postive thought as well. Feeling love towards your wife, your parents, your family, your friends, your siblings, your colleague, your acquaintances, your work, your health, your game, your motobike, your car, your everything.. love everything, it is a positive thought as well. Let me summarize so far the positive thought that i have are : Hopeful, reviwing pass achiement, gratitude, faith and love. So this is the root to living a positive life and that is what i should be aiming for all the time.

The same goes to negative thought, both thought have the opposite effect to one another. If you indulge in positive, i will be positive, if i indulge in negative, i will be negative, so it is me to consider which one to indulge in. Choose it wisely. It is okey to be sad sometimes, but don't do it deliberately. When you know that you indulge in the negative thought try to think about solution and put yourself back on track to where you want to go again. 

Reflection-Fishing the squrart

How do you feel about it? i feel nothing about it. It is somebody's job vs somebody's life. It is fun Vs life and you still feel nothing about it? What do i suppose to feel? Should i feel sad about the squish that has been hunted and killed? What if the squish is you? What do you think now? It is a life, so there should be something about it. There is nothing change if i feel sorry about the squish. you want me to stop eating it or what? if i feel sorry about it, that is what i should feel. No, what i mean is that i should be aware that it is other people's life, but there is nothing i can do about it beside feeling sorry and it is not to live up to the fullness. See, i don't know how it feels for the squish to be dead, maybe it is getting better, and it is living a better life after it is dead, i don't know. Why don't i think positive and believe according to the Juses that these animal are here for you to enjoy with, some for eat, some for be afraid of to make me all the feeling that i have right now. Think this way is much better since we are here already. We can't do anything unless the animal learn how to talk to us to tell that we should stop killing them. But death is not bad. It is a process of generating new generation. Imagine that your grandma is still here and your mum still have to look after her, while actually, your grandma now reborn to be your mothers'granddaughter, isn't it amazing. So don't think about death as a bad thing. The squish is getting better with its life now. It can live a better life now. Who knows it is going to be born as water. 

Reflection-Bigo Live

Bigo live is a new trend. It is not as powerful as facebook, but it will come into the positive way. Here are the positive way about Bigo live. With it, you can promote on what you do such as as a real estate, you can go live in the house that you want to sell. People will be interested in your promoting yourself live. But when should you do it? and how to do it effectively is your way. Now you have the chance to show people more than what happen in the last decade. In the last decade, you have to pay for the TV for you to show them your product, but now if you can make yourself popular through it you can find a way to earn money very fast unexpectedly. Maybe, you should focus on your ability now and later when you feel that you need to advertise yourself, plan and do something unexpectedly. In a bad way, people may live killing each others, or showing porn. These could lead to negative feeling to audience. 

Effect of porn on our brain

1. Porn triggers mirror neurons in our brain which left the image from the screen. This will cause us to enjoy with the picture in our brain rather than our wife or the real person. So if you are addicted to porn, you will be not addicted to your wife or the real person anymore because that mirror neurons keep showing the pictures in the porn. 2. Porn trigger dopamine chemical into the brain. Dopamine a chemical that make us feel reward-driven learning.  Some addicted drug such as cocaine trigger dopamine as well. Porn surge dopamine more than actual partner sex, so that is why those who enjoy porn, do not enjoy real life sex as much. 3. Neurological mechanism called Coolidge Effect which cause male or female to have interest in different sex partner. This is the cause of the internet porn addiction as well. 4. Overstimulate the reward circuitry which could numb our brain causing us feel less pleasure to rewards, search for more harder or longer porn. 5. If porn is more accessed to, we will make decision more base on it. 6. Reason to porn addiction are due to extreme novelty, no limitation consumption, increase partner, teen's brain is at peak. 7. Porn could cause social anxiety, depression, low motivation, erectile dysfunction, concentration problem, and negative self-perception. In conclusion, porn create mirror neurons, dopamine, nuerological mechanisem, over stimulated the dopamine which cuase male make decision base on sexual anxiety, and cause other harm physical body that it should be considered to stop indulging in it anymore. It is like a drug. It is very addictive, it should be touched or considered to touch. 

Back

I am back to my high state again. Thank myself for finding a way to get back to where i am. 

Now, i have 15mns to show how i feel right now.
Ok, i used to complain a lot when i was young, kid, teenager, and adult. I keep complaining that what is happening to me right now is so unfair and that my life suck this suck that. I never really satisfy with my life while i have everything that a man wish for such as family, school, job and so on.
Why a man with everything still complain about everything? Is it because that i am that type of person, keep complaining but never do anything to make the thing better?

Actually, writing thing down is kind of help this process already. It helps me to clear out what is really happening to me right now.
Ok, let's face it. The fact that i am feeling annoying and complaining most of the time is cuz that i am bored cuz of my money is very little, and I want to have beautiful girl with me but i never have one. The fact that i am not yet have any good plan for my life. The fact that i make myself disappointed cuz of thing that i promise to do, but i never do. The fact that my commitment is so low. The fact that i feel ugly. the fact that i earn very little, the fact that i don't really have a dream, the fact that i do not live an positive environment, the fact that i cannot control myself.
So these are all that i have in my mind.
1. Lack of money
2. Do not have any plan for my life
3. Disappointed with myself cuz i broke the promise
4. Commitment is low
5. I think i am ugly
6. Earn very little
7. No dream
8. Do not live in a positive environment
9. Unable to control myself.
10. Haven't found my true value yet.
So these are all?

Ok, print it out and try to solve them. One by one.

Short term goal to be happy daily

DAy #1

 

Let start my first day with what I really want in life and how I am going to do with it. 

I want to have a proper house and car and A family for my own. I don't want to live Alone. So here is what I am going to do. 

1. Make sure that I have a to do list for everyday and I keep track on it everyday. ( after this, mAke one)

2. Do exercise 30mns, just enough sleep which is 7 hours a day, eat 3 meals per day, drink 2 liter of water per day.

3. Call the person u care everyday. 

4. Clean room everyday

5. Read a book everday for 30mns at least.

6. Drink a can of beer every night after dinner

7.optional: go out at night once a while, but not spend money. Go to sister house and do other unexpected thing. 

New idea

Now I can plan whatever I want to in my phone. I can keep it In my phone, but It won't last. So I have to save it in my blog.

So, this is the first time writing from iPhone 5. I still am slow in writing

Working environment

It seems that the working is going not smooth most of the time, however, thing still keep going while all sides keep fighting all the time. I never thought of something like that. When we study, we learn that we always should do all the right things, but as work teaches me, studying is just a reference for us to follow but flexible play the most important role in working environment. If i cannot adapt to the new environment, i would be kicked out. That's life.

So, i don't think i should have to care much about that. I just should focusing on doing on my part and live my life as always. I want to make my life more simple. NOw i will write down just what i want to do now and put it revision no.1. From today on, i will start to focusing on improving my life. Everything, i will refer to that book.

It has been a while that i have stopped posting on my blog. Normally, i write blog only when i am too stressful about life. But today is different. Today, i want to describe my life after my graduation. I just want to take this time away from what i have done normally. So now let me start saying what i have been doing so far.

First i want to describe about my graduation ceremony. The number that i got for my graduation day is 168. It is a very lucky number. I'm not sure how many students are there but i'm sure that it's more than 1000 students and i am the one who get this lucky number. I feel like this lucky just show me that i am going to have a much more lucky life and a better life.

After graduation, i just spend time for 2 months just to do nothing and it was great time because i can review my life for the past 26 years. I have been forced to do what i don't want to do for along time and for the first time in my life i got what i really want. I just want to pass this studying life and study what i really like for myself, i don't want to get forced by anyone anymore. I am already satisfied with my life.

There was time that i wanted to committed suicide because of too much pressure of not doing anything useful relating to my fyp. i complained a lot about that i can check it back to see it like. I also made an attempt to delete all the photo and memory and it was quite successful. i don't really want to talk about my pass or review my past anymore. i just want to live on today.

Now let me move to my working life. I didn't expect that i am going to have such a wonderful like. I always wish to go out with some girls and have fun with them at night clubs or going to sing karaoke with my friends, and these are all dream come true. It just fits the way i am. I can go out with different type of people and that's what i want to do. and i can do whatever i want while working and i can sleep whenever i want. and more than that, i can keep my hair as long as i want, i even gain a lot of weight recently. there are a lot of wish that i have completed. and now i am working on another project of my life which is to read the book and to improve my life technically. i need to improve it to top level of my life and it should be 1 years. it is something that i am afraid of, but after experiencing such life now i have a better view. i don't really afraid of life anymore. i know what i am doing, i scrutinize myself more often, i read, i write, and i listen to a lot of people. My ideas become more crystal and my mind is much better than before. It's only once a while that i become stupid and don't know what i am doing and that is what's i'm trying to do for myself.

Now let me talk about what is my life with the girls. Since i change my phone to iphone5, i feel that everyone seems to view in a better way. i feel that i gain much about confident when i am with Girls. i know that would work because i am living in the materialistic world, and that i have to keep competing with people around me and do something to be better in all the improvement. there are a lot of girls i have been contacting to recently such as Srey Meas, Srey neang, but the only problem that i am having is that i don't really have much feeling with them yet. i just don't feel like they are the right ones, but i just try to improve this part of my life by not ignoring it to the ground. i have to do something to keep my desire up.

Ok, that's all i want to say about my life after graduation. After all, everything is going well, and life is much more better than when i was studying. i can do what i want to do and i can enjoy my life much more than before. but i also do not forget about my mission of my life. i think i need to create another goal based on my situation right now. Let's consider it will be the first one of my life for creating goal, but it must be a good one . it must be something fresh, and it must be something with good quality. I have to think of the quality all the time from now on. I must keep thinking about Kaizen.

FYP!!! I hate you

Damn it, i really don't know what to do with my fyp and this is already week 9. I am really worried and i don't know what i need to do with it. Fuck it! Just give me my degree without you, please!!!!

The moment i was very down is when my supervisor told me that you can search for the data from the papers. and he said there are a lot which i don't know where to find. That words really kill me and i just have no courage and i can't find way to do that anymore. i don't know how it is going to be like! The date for viva presentation is coming and i still haven't prepared my slide and to make it worse, i don't know what to put in my slide yet.

Am i going to die? Will i be able to graduate. Fuck this! this thought just drive me crazy. Please! somebody helps me! This is the final year. This is not like before like when you can give a crap to the paper or presentation. The one who come to judge me is professional. He knows what i am doing and he knows whether i am going to right way or to the wrong ways. How am i going to do this? Will i survive this time? i don't feel that i am going to be able to take breath this week. and i don't know whether i can manage my mind to at least go on with something that i don't even know where it is heading to. Fuck it!!!!! i loath it!!! This is the worst feeling of my life. I have motivation and everything to move on, but i just don't know which ways. The lecturer told me that if you cannot go this way, you have to go to another way. He wants me to keep pushing. Pushing what? I really hate you!!!

Yeee..... I really can't share this with anyone especially with my parents who are really happy with their wealth right now. I think i just keep it for myself. I don't even know what to put next. Who can help me? Where should i start? What should i do with you FYP? Will i am able to see the sunlight after this Wednesday? Will i be able to find something to put into my word in the next few days? I will be date if i am still can't find anything to write in this. I need to change my attitude of course.

Will this be the most moment in my life? Can i swim out of this? When can i see the place i want to go? hai.... life is really suffering right now. And i still feel relax. What is this attitude i am having? Why i don't feel any pressure to do anything? What i learn from the past?

Hai.... Am i going to reach my goal that i set? If not, how can i become what i want to be? How can i have something good in my life? how can i have modern things? How i can i have this and that? How can i have girls to love me? How can i earn my respect from others? How can i live and deal with this world? Why should i come here and let many people expect to get something good from me while i can't produce something good for them? When can i just relax and do nothing for the rest of my life? Why do i have to do this and that. ......

I just want to keep writing here because i hate to see what i have to do next with my fyp. If i don't move on what am i supposed to do.

I just want to read and note down all the thing that i don't understand and go to see my supervisor, but i dare not see him anymore because it's been long that i haven't done anything and i have to meet him again? for what? For update what? and i never have any question to ask him much because i don't know what to ask. Shitt.....

Is this life? is this real life? Why do i have to face it like this? What can i do now? What can i do to survive this? It's like the water is up at my nose now and if i don't try to swim out of it, i will die. Do i want to die or i want to live. Of course, i want to live. There are many good things waiting for me to go back home to do. There are many happy time waiting for me. There are many beautiful girls waiting for me to go back to wait for me to flirt with.

I have to be strong to get out of this. But how to be strong. Consider every obstacles here as your stepping stone to success. Learn from them. Learn why you can't focus and doing it right? is it your attitude or is it the work itself? Have you prepare yourself for it? Have you done what you suppose to do? Have you tried something hard enough before you say it out? or you just give it up when you just see the obstacle come? How can you deal with the worse situation than this? You think the place you will live is much better than this? No... everything need hard effort and if you still act like this, you will not be able to go anywhere. If you don't plan and do what you should do. Then you will have nothing. This is life, you must know how to deal with all the situation. let's say now what situation you are having. You are having hard time understanding what you are reading, right? But have you asked yourself, what do you need before you start reading? No... you just start reading something without knowing what you want from it. This is insane. No matter how many hours you spend on that, you will get nothing. It's like you are supposed to get the clean water from the well, but you keep going to the river to get the polluted water because you think that river and well are all have water but you don't know that actually well water is what you supposed to get and that water is clean. And finally when you come to your village, people scold you that you did the wrong thing, but you don't accept that and you just stop doing that and again later, you stop going to meet them and you just give in and stop doing it until it's too late.

So what is the problem here? whether you are lazy or you don't know what to do? You have to keep walking and asking yourself until you find the answer. Now sleeping is not a problem for you anymore because you said already that you don't want to die so it means you choose the hard way to survive. You chose the hard way to learn.

Now, i don't want you to walk in order to get the idea because that may just another excuse that you make so that you avoid your problem again. Now i want you write your problems from your mind first and then we will go to deal with it together.

Now, the issue that i am worried about is my FYP. The topic for my FYP is Finite Element Modelling Reinforce Concrete Beam. What i am worried about is that i worried that i will fail this because i have only monday and tuesday and i haven't start getting anything done yet. The worst thing that could happen to this is that i will fail my FYP because this time the mark is 30. and if i can't pass this FYP, i will not be able to graduate and if i will be able to graduate, i will spend may spend my parents' money to extent this scholarship and if i need to extent this scholarship, i will waste time doing something that i need to do in Cambodia, and if i can't do that i will be shameful not only me, but my family also. This is the worst thought that i have had so far.

Now, the question is is there anybody who fail their FYP yet? Do you know anybody who fail FYP? No, i haven't heard anybody who fail it. I only heard that people can't get it done well and get bad grade for that. Most of the people, they can finish theirs but not in a good scope. The point is that they keep doing and submit what they are supposed to do. So it means that as long as you keep doing it and result whether is good or not, you just try your best and present them to the your sv, right?

So, now i got an idea for you. You just keep doing your FYP, normally. Now the first thing is that put the average law in here. You always have the worry that you may fail , but so far, you haven't fail for one yet, if you do, you wouldn't be like this, you would try your best to do something already, but since you haven't failed anything yet, that's why you are still lazy like this. And i reassure you that this is not going to happen since nobody have failed it yet as long as they tried their best to do it. You have to try your best by not thinking about sleeping for a while, and keep your focus on your FYP for a while. You keep your best doing and don't care about the result, and i believe that you can do it because you always do it like that. Don't you think so? Even though your result is not good, that is going to be okay for you because as long as you produce something at that day, that would be ok.

So, your next thought is your strategy to do it. So how are you going to do? It's like how is your final product is going to look like? How many times you want to spend time on presenting it to yourself? How many paper you should read, and how many hours you should spend on the program and how many hours you should spend on writing the paper again. You need to ask how. because you already know what you want to do already. What you want to do is to make a presentation slide and be ready for the presentation and then go to present, that's it! Go go meet your lecturer and take the paper from him and do the correction.

Ok, here is what i am going to do.

1. I will forget about everything and i will go to start using software and do my best spend all my time. Consider it as a game. A game to create a beam. If you can create a beam with the steel bar in their and you can do some experiment on that, then you can go to sleep. I don't care which strategy you do it. This part, you have to do it by yourself. It's fun, right?

Ok, Iwill do it.